Old Age-Part 1 On the road with Selective Attention Deficit.

Aging can creep up on you ( see cartoon). I have been ensconced in my home writing my book,  Good Morning Monster, for the last five years-- which takes me from 66-71 years of age. As a writer, you do the same routine everyday; as long as you stay in your deeply dug groove from home to Starbucks, you don't notice any mental deterioration in your small world.   The book I was writing is about my 25 years as a psychologist.  The information I needed was not new and I could recall it as easy as falling off a log. Therefore I didn't have to contend with new learning.

Now with the book finished, Penguin said it was  time for me to go out  in the big world and market the book.  I was booked all over and I had nary a worry. I jaunted about about without a qualm because I feel I have always been 'good on my feet' .

I hit the wall on my first gig in front of over a hundred people. Old people have trouble with selective attention. It is a little like a geriatric version of ADD. When I was alone in my 3rd floor study writing with no one ever disturbing me I had no idea I was now prone to distraction-- enough to knock me off my game. I wasn't  used to it.

I was in the middle of my  new speech since this was the first stop on my media tour.  A member of the audience  was late and flounced down the aisle and collapsed in a chair in the first row.   I looked up focusing on her for a fraction of a second and then lost  track of what I was saying. This had never happened to me before in my entire life. If it did happen, I recovered before anyone noticed. Suddenly, I  had every public speakers worst nightmare. I totally lost the plot. I felt my face get hot and my heart pounded as hundreds of eyes were upon me.

A lot can go through your mind in a few seconds. I thought, I could fake it-- but it would be a stretch-- or I could confess -- a little too Catholic;  or I could make a joke-- too Chris Rock. I decided since I am a lapsed Catholic who enjoys humour-- I'd opt for honesty, humour  and draw in the audience.

I looked out at a tsunami of grey hair said, "Thank God you are mostly women of a certain age.  Where was I before the late arrival from Beelzebub?" I said  comically glaring at the late arrival.  "Remember  Hillary said, "'it takes a village'."  What would I do if you weren't here-- probably wander home in a daze and when the police stopped me I'd say I was Melania Trump." Everyone laughed and one or two people yelled out what I had been talking about. I said, "What about the rest of you? Distracted?" Everyone laughed and we moved on. It set a relaxed pace for the rest of the talk. I felt the audience was with me or as they say 'had my back'.

I came upon this solution spontaneously, but  I wanted to share it with other old people. Just be relaxed and honest. Throw in some humour if you can.  The axiom is people respond to the mood of the speaker, not the words.  If you are humiliated by memory loss, the audience will be as well. If you are relaxed and act like it is one of the routine  bumps of old age, they will feel that way as well.


 Practical Remedy
What to do about selective attention deficit ( getting distracted).? Prepare to lose your train of thought sometimes. Now when I give a speech I have the key word in each  each paragraph highlighted in yellow. I keep my finger on it till I move to the next paragraph. That way if someone interrupts me,  I have a grounding. When people from the audience ask questions and I give a long discursive answer,  I have learned  to ask before moving on to another question, "Did I answer your question?"

All old age mental deficits  have a down side, but they all have an upside.
Sure, we all agree that it can shake your confidence to have lost  some concentration. However, the upside is that I am old enough to remember things that are now historical. In the content of my talk I  describe patients I have almost half a century ago. For example,  Danny, the native patient in my book, was a  child trapper before school was mandatory. He was taken out of the Tundra to go to  Residential school.  He was my patient in the early 80's and I was able to hear first hand what happened to him when he was taken from his family. I could report details that  few people are alive to tell.  When I gave a talk to a high school they all knew of the Truth and Reconciliation commission, but were fascinated to hear my details of the past told in a present tense.

You know your old when...
 I found my 1950's childhood memoir, Too Close to the Falls, in the history section at Indigo. I informed the salesman I was still alive and perhaps he should move it to the memoir section. He looked at me and said with a certain amount of doubt. "Yup.  I guess you're still alive."